Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Drake has all the answers
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
