I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
