Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
