Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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