new low.... made out with someone while peeing
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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