You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
