This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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