Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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