You really coming over, don't trick.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
