Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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