I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
