he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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