i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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