so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
