What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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