I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just want to make out with him forever
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
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