she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
