he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You're like the curious george of whores
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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