she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
