It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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