I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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