before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
