oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My pussy is not your playground.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
