"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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