HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize