Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
its not stalking. its research.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
