Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
