I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
