I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
