let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
either way he was missing a nipple.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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