hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
