Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
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