Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I have post one night stand depression
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