So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
