"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
