I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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