help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
