Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
