The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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