I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
