He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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