Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
