margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
