he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You smell like stripper and shame
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
