I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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