I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Randomize
