it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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