oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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