just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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