Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
