Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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