No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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