its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
