i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
