we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
