wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
