does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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