You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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