you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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