Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
