Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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