Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
birth control should be required to get into college
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
