i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
